The F Word (Part 3)

So we've talked about the first step to forgiveness--praying for the person. Now what?! Sometimes people ask, "Am I supposed to be best friends with them now, do I just forget what they've done, do I let them continue to hurt me?" And my answer is "No." There's a big difference between forgiving someone and condoning the behavior. You were called to be a disciple, not a doormat. You also were called to love, not loathe. In 1 Corinthians 13:6, it says love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

There are various levels of love depending on how deep the hurt is. Some relationships can be fixed just with simple communication. But with others it can be a long and difficult journey of getting through the pain (emotional or physical) that was inflicted upon them. Love comes in different forms. I don't know your situation, but hopefully you can relate to these. Maybe for you, you need to talk to the person face to face. Talk to them about how they've hurt you, but also let them know you forgive them. Maybe loving someone means not giving them the evil eye whenever you see them. It could be that you don't take your frustrations out on friends who are close to that person. Maybe it means walking away from another conflict with them. Or not bashing them over the head with a golf club (not that I've ever had that thought before). Maybe it's praying for them to turn their lives around.

It's not always an easy road. But if you take one step at a time, you'll be farther ahead and better off than if you just sit in the dirt and feel sorry for yourself.

Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. ~Ephesians 4:31-32

The F Word (Part 2)

Many times over the Bible talks about forgiving others because God forgave us. It's a lot easier said than done though. It's not just saying the words, "I forgive you." There has to be a change in the heart. We forgive others because we need it. It's not really about our relationship with the offender. It's about our relationship with the Creator.

As I was thinking about the person who stole my debit card, I started getting self-righteous. I mean, in the midst of serving others, and he had the nerve to steal from me. The nerve! And then I thought of the many times I have robbed God. Robbed Him of glory that I took for myself. Robbed Him of money that belonged to Him in the first place. Worshipped idols of comfort and popularity rather than Him. Repeatedly disobeyed and denied Him.

Jesus said that no one is good except God. No one. What if God had said, "Ok Kim, you blew it. That was the last straw. I'm done with you." Luckily, that's not who God is though. He's not waiting for you to mess up so He can inflict punishment on you. His mercies are new each morning. In Isaiah 43:25, He promises to remember our sins no more and says that He does this for His own sake. Again, this shows us that it's not about the offender. It's about our relationship with Him. How do you want God to treat you?

As we talk about forgiveness, I'm sure that you are picturing someone or a maybe a few someones. Who is it that you need to forgive today? And where do you start? From my experiences, I've found that prayer is a good beginning. Praying for the offender does something for my own heart. You probably won't feel like it, but do it anyway. It's like taking your garbage out. It needs to be done even though you may not feel like it. And if you don't, then bad odors start to arise. It's time to take out the trash.

The F Word

Last week, I got my debit card stolen right out of my purse. So I've had to renew my mind more than usual this week. Like every time I had to retell the story. While I was fuming and thinking about all the ways to hurt this person, I kept thinking about the F word. Not that one! I'm talkin bout Forgiveness. It's the F word you hear at church every once in a while, but what does that really mean? Miles Paludan just gave an awesome message on the subject. He said everything I was going to say, but so much better than I could articulate. Go check it out. Seriously. I'm not joking. Do it now!

http://www.lifechurch.tv/message-archive/watch/red-letter-day/2

This week I'll be blogging about some other stuff that Miles didn't cover in the message. So stay tuned.

Ukraine, You Crazy

So I'm going to Ukraine this summer. I'm not sure how it happened. I'm not sure where the money will come from. But I know it's supposed to happen.

I finished reading the book Crazy Love. (I'll be starting a book study over it soon.) The last chapter is about taking the info you learned and applying it to your life. So I had this convo with God.

Me: Ok God, what do you want me to do with this stuff?
God: You already know.
Me: Umm, I do??
God: You remember doing the Chazown study (your life vision)?
Me: Yeah, but I dunno. That was like 4 years ago. Is it even still relevant? I mean, helping kids in orphanages seems like a far-off idea.
God: (silence)

The next day I go to the Union (Worship night at Lifechurch). There's was a guy Paul who works with international missions. And he just happened to be in town this week. Paul was there to talk about a mission they are taking in the summer to Ukraine. During the trip they spend time with orphaned kids, loving on them and teaching them about Christ. So I have another convo with God while Paul was speaking.

Me: God, is this what you want me to do?
God: What do you think?
Me: The trip is on July 21st, isn't it?
Paul: ...So we're leaving on July 21st and coming back on August 4.
Me: Ok God. I hear ya.

(Note: My grandma's birthday is on the 21st. I was already planning on taking a trip in remembrance of her. It's the first birthday she'll be celebrating in Heaven.)

I like that God can be blunt sometimes. I don't always have to guess or pray for God's direction. It's right there in my face. The hard part is in the obedience.

Me: If you want me to go, then you'll take care of the money issue, right?
God: Have I ever let failed you when I've led you to do something?
Me: Good point.

I Need Some New Clothes!

Last week was rough. I was more tired, cranky, and worn out than I've been in a while. Then God interrupted my pity party.

Clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. ~Colossians 3:12-14

Notice it says Put On Love. God is the essence of love. He doesn't wake up in the morning, eat his cereal, and put on a shirt, pants, and love. He already is. We, however, have to put on love daily. Some days it's easy to forget though. If you wake up late, get cut off in traffic, or have to deal with difficult people, it's normal to do what everyone else is doing. Complain and blame. But God calls us to a higher standard. Put on love. Forgive. Turn the other cheek. Your reward is in Heaven, not on earth. It's like flossing your teeth. You might not feel like doing it, but you know it's the right thing to do.

Love is NOT a feeling. It's an action. It's something you choose. What would the world look like if we started to radically show love. Not as a conditional, worldly, whats-in-it-for-me love. (Note: I'm not talking about being a doormat and continuously letting someone abuse you while you keep turning the other cheek. We'll discuss that later.) But an unconditional, I'm-free-to-love-because-God-loved-me-first, crazy love.

So this week I'm purposefully putting on love each morning. Lemme tell you it was not easy today. I think God was testing me out a little. But that's how I get stronger. It's like lifting weights. Small resistance develops the muscle, and over time you can lift much more than you could in the beginning. I'm probably starting out with some 2lb weights, but they feel like 20lbs at the moment. Hopefully, by the end of the month, they will seem weightless because I'm growing stronger each day.

So my question is this? What are you putting on each morning: bitterness, unforgiveness, depression, pride, apathy, impatience? Sometimes, even as Christians, we try to fake it by putting on the Jesus is my Homeboy T-shirt. But are you really living like it? Jesus said that people will know my disciples if they love one another. Maybe it's time for some new clothes.