The Mom Song

I'm not a mom, but this cracked me up! And the longer I teach, the more I start sounding like my mom.

Do You Think I'm Intimidating?

This was written last year, but it still makes me smile. So I thought I'd share.

Monday started out okay. It was the first day of parent teacher conferences, and the 3 parents scheduled did not show up. I really wasn't surprised. Tuesday I had a conference with "The Angry Parent #2." (The title Angry Parent #1 was already taken at the beginning of the year.) So she comes in and commences to chewing me out. AP#2 tells me that her son was sent down straight from Heaven, he never does anything wrong, and he thinks I am intimidating. I've been called lots of things (ex. strict and rigid), but not the I-word. She informed me that the kid had begged her several times to be moved to another class. She also mentioned that even though you're not supposed to have favorites between your kids, he was her favorite. It must be because he was sent from Heaven. (I can only imagine where the others came from.) Anyway, back to the story.

Then Angry began telling me what all I had supposedly done-dragged her son away during recess time and moved his desk to the "Stupid Kids Group" for no apparent reason. (Yes, those were her words, not mine!) Then it was my turn to talk. She didn't know that he had been poking another student with his pencil, been told twice to stop, and still continued doing it. During class, not at recess time, his desk was moved to the "Kids-who-can't-always-keep-their-hands-and-feet-to-themselves Group" for obvious reasons. Well, AP didn't know all of those facts.

So she did what any disbelieving mother would do- she changed the subject. I had made her precious angel learn about Martin Luther King and write an "I have a dream" speech. She knew that this was an important event a long time ago, but didn't understand why we were still studying it! At this point I think she realized I am Not White. She began to backpedal. I sat and listened while she dug the hole deeper and deeper. Finally, she had absolutely nothing left to say. "You've taken this quite well," she told me at the end of our conference.

The next day, AP#2 arrived to school early. She had a tray filled with cupcakes. "I felt so bad about yesterday, I brought you these cupcakes," she stated without making eye contact. A peace offering of chocolate and pure sugar. Maybe I am intimidating after all!

Whack!

How often will a puppy keep coming up to you if you bop it on the nose? What if you bopped it every time it approached? Or maybe just once in a while? At what point does the puppy think, "I don't have to put up with this," and goes in the other direction?

Sometimes I feel like the puppy. When I get "bopped on the nose," I want to run...M-E-D-8-ly. (Did you figure that one out yet?) I shut down. I don't want to be around the person. At times I just want out of the relationship all together. With most folks, I am pretty easy-going. But when someone I love hurts me, it is devastating. Yeah, yeah, I know people are human and we all make mistakes. But it crushes me when the blow is delivered by a "friend." I can only imagine what Jesus must've been thinking when Judas betrayed him. He even knew it was coming!

So anyway, back to the question. What do you when you get bopped? Do you shut down, lash out, gossip, forgive and forget, etc.? Do you keep returning? Are you more guarded the next time? And when is enough enough? I'd love your thoughts.

A Moment of Genius

In the wee moments before I went to sleep last night, my mind was spewing out all sorts of random things. Here's a glimpse: Why is the light still on? I wish I had a clapper light. Clap On, Clap Off. Who invented that? Why can't I go to sleep? Ok, stop thinking...

What's the weather like tomorrow? Doh! I can't stop thinking! They should make something that empties your brain before bedtime. Maybe like a USB plug. Ooooo! Then you could plug it in to your computer, and Presto! You don't even have to type because it's already programmed in there. Dang I'm smart! Now I just have to figure out how to make it. If you have any ideas, we'll partner up and share the wealth 70-30. Ok fine, 60-40 but that's my final offer. Hey I think the Nyquil is starting to...

Birthday Bonanza

This Sunday, three family birthdays will be celebrated. I will be 26, my brother will be 29, and my nephew will be 2.

Growing up, my brother and I had the same birthday routine: a half white cake (usually with GI Joes or something violent), the other half was chocolate cake (consisting of Care Bears, Strawberry Shortcake or Barbie, depending on the year), with vanilla and chocolate ice cream. We’ve partied at Mickey D’s, skating rinks, and a variety of other places. However, most people don’t know the significance of our shared birthdays. Let me enlighten you. But first, we have to travel back in time. (Get in the Delorian!)

Before I was born, my parents had 2 boys. They loved them dearly, but thought, “We can do better than this! We need a little girl.” For years they looked into local adoption. Because they already had two kids, they were told to go home and be happy. Luckily, my parents are relentless, I mean, persistent. So they began looking into foreign adoption.

One day my mom received a call from the adoption agency. There was a beautiful baby that had recently been born in Seoul, South Korea. Oddly enough, my mom’s first question was, “When was she born?” The lady on the phone replied January 11. Mom was speechless for a moment. That was the date of her second son’s birthday too. “We’ll take her,” she stated. The lady was stunned and asked if she wanted any other information before officially adopting this child she knew nothing else about. My mom said she knew all she needed to know to make the decision. Four months later they received a healthy, gorgeous baby girl to add to their family…And I’ve been here ever since. Thank God I wasn’t born on the 12th! Whew!

Two years ago, my sister-in-law was preggers. She decided to be induced on January 11. For 24 years, I had accepted only getting ½ of a birthday. But 1/3?? That’s 33.33%! The selfish, frugal, crap-I-gotta-buy-more-cards-and-gifts-on-my-own-birthday, monster inside me began to rear its ugly head. However, once I saw that precious baby boy, I got over it. Plus I decided that instead of turning another year older, I will only turn 1/3 of a year older. So I’ll turn 24 & 2/3 on Sunday. Maybe that’s why I love the kid so much!

The Tithe(s)

I started tithing when I became a school teacher. Still living at home, no car payments, and having a steady income made tithing pretty easy to do. Each month I faithfully wrote my check, placed it in the offering bucket, and felt good about it. I always had enough money to take care of my bills and plenty left over for whatever I wanted after that. Tithing became part of my normal routine even when I bought a house and car. I knew that money was set aside because it was really God's money and not mine. This year I even switched over to autodraft so it goes straight from my checking account. Everything was great until God rocked my boat...

I was watching a Joyce Meyer episode on being busy. She talked about people being too busy to spend time with God. Over the Christmas break, He started whispering to me, "Why are you so good at tithing money, but lousy at tithing time?" Ouch. I had never really thought about it before. I've heard preachers talk about spending time with God in the morning. It's better, it's more biblical and yada yada. Well that sounds wonderful except for the fact that I am NOT a morning person. I barely talk to people until I've been awake for at least an hour, usually 2 hours. When my alarm clock goes off in the morning, I hit the snooze button and talk to God during those waking moments until the snooze alarms sounds. That's about as good as it's gonna get for the mornings.

After school is when I sit down and do a devo or read my Bible. However, the after school thing is inconsistent. Sometimes, I'm tired and just want to nap. Or I have work, finances, chores, or errands to do. Other times, I'd honestly rather do something else like play guitar, watch TV, or read fabuloso blogs. It's not that those things are bad. But they seem to be crowding out my TAG (Time Alone with God). We make time for the things that are most important to us. I say that I want to be like Paul in Philippians 3:7-11. But do my actions back it up? If someone looked at the itinerary of my life, would they know that Christ is at the center?

Lately, God has been calling me to tithe my time. "Don't try to fit me in your schedule. Why don't you make your TAG a priority, and fix your schedule around it?" Umm, ok God. You're right. Wait...you're always right.