I Don't Trust People

It started when I was in 4th grade. My best friend moved, and I was devastated. From there, the cycle continued. Some of my friends in junior high were not the best people to hang out with. I was following them down a path of hopelessness when Jesus Christ took hold of me. I was forever changed, and suddenly I realized that those I had surrounded myself with were pulling me down into a life of sin. I had to cut ties, and it broke my heart. However, I knew it was the right thing to do. High school brought many wonderful memories. I had several friends, but kept them at a distance. I was so afraid that if they saw the real me, I would be rejected. Then we went our separate ways to different colleges and states.

During my junior year at OSU, I met Andrea. For the first time since 4th grade, I felt like I had a best friend. But in the back of my mind, I wondered if it would last after graduation. On graduation day, I received my diploma in a wheelchair. I had broken my knee, and would spend the next 3 months learning how to bend my leg and walk again. Andrea lived 2 hours away, and I didn't really expect to see her much after graduation. But she surprised me. Every few weeks, she came to the city to hang out with me. Me! Broken, cranky, lil o' me. She called me just to see how I was doing. Although she might not have realized it, she gave me hope. She redefined the meaning of the word friend. And for that, I'm eternally grateful. I would give her my left kidney if she needed it.

In my hardened heart, I really deep-down, do not trust people. I trust my family and Andrea, but that's about it. I have been let down time after time. I still have the wounds of rejection, not being good enough, pretty enough, funny enough, or smart enough. But God is doing a work in me. He promises, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." He loves me exactly as I am. And each day I'm learning to trust Him more and more.