Romans 8 (Part 1/3)

This chapter brings back so many memories. I'll be blogging on Romans 8 for a few days since there's too much to share in one run-on blog. This chapter is the main reason I decided to look into my lukewarm-ness. Or aka Practical Atheism (btw Craig Groeschel's new book is coming out soon!).

Everyone (from OK at least) remembers the April 19, 1995 Oklahoma City bombing. It was a sad tragic day that took the lives of 168 people. One of those people was Victoria Texter.

My family knew Victoria pretty well. She was in my parents' Sunday school class. She had "bought" me in an auction to clean her windows. Her son went to school with my brother. We had even seen Vicky the night before at a junior high awards assembly. It was my dad's birthday, and (like most days) I was ready to go eat. They were talking with Vicky and her husband. Impatiently, I hurried them along to the car. They said their goodbyes, not knowing it would be the last time.

Fast forward to the next day. I was on a school bus when the bombing happened. It wasn't until later that day I found out Vicky worked at the Murrah building. And she was missing. That night, I got down on my knees in my bedroom, and prayed with everything I had in me. I fully believed God would save her. Several days went by and her body was one of the last to be found.

My heart sank. Why hadn't God answered my prayer?? I was a good Christian girl. I went to church, memorized scripture, and tried not to cuss. What more could He ask of me? Then I came across Romans 8:5-11. The words on the page pierced my heart, and I had to ask myself this tough question. Do I really belong to Christ? Yes I had made a decision at the age of 7, but did I really belong to Christ? If I examined my life, I wasn't controlled by the Spirit, but by my sinful nature. Therefore, I could not please God. In fact I wasn't even sure if God lived in me.

It was the first time I had ever questioned my relationship with God. I began digging through scriptures, and found myself very lacking. I put on a good Christian front, but was really living by the world's standards rather than God's.

Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Do you not realize that Christ Jesus is in you—unless, of course, you fail the test? ~2 Corinthians 13:5

Too often I don't think anyone can tell the difference between nonbeliever and believers. Collectively, we've become a society of cultural Christians. We go to church and do our thing, but we don't wanna be considered "radical." Preaching and leading others to Christ is left to the pastors. After all, they're getting paid for it. Meanwhile, I picture God shaking His head, knowing He has created us for so much more than this.