The Chunky Monkey

Most people don’t know that I’m 50 pounds lighter than I was 12 years ago. In junior high I was depressed, had few friends, and used food to comfort me. Food never rejected me. It’s always there. And it didn’t talk back. So this cycle continued: I ate because I was depressed, and I was depressed because I was fat.

But when I was 15 years old, I reconnected with God. And everything changed in that moment. Suddenly, I didn’t want my life to look anything like it had been. I was ready for a life makeover. Actually, it was more like life surgery. I told my mom I wanted to lose weight. She told me to stopping drinking 6-8 Dr. Peppers a day. I never realized how many calories were in those cans. I was consuming 900-1200 calories just from drinking!! So I made myself drink Diet Coke for a month. That stuff tasted so horrible, I had to force myself to drink it. Now I can’t get enough of it! (Probably should have switched to water now that I think about it.) In less than a month I shed 15 pounds.

As I read the Bible I became more determined to make other changes. Food had become an idol for me. I would turn to it rather than to God when I was upset. That had to stop.
I began to read about fasting and why it was practiced. (Fasting and not eating are two completely different things. I’m not endorsing anorexia here people.) Denying myself and asking God for wisdom was the purpose of my fast. So every Wednesday I skipped lunch for two months. During that time, I discovered that I was a subconscious eater. There were times when I would devour an entire bag of chips before realizing what I’d done. I had to learn a new way of eating. Instead of taking the bag and plopping down in front of the TV to eat, I would pull out a normal-size portion of chips and enjoy them slowly without any distractions. Then I would go watch TV after my snack. I also learned that the words all-you-can-eat-buffet was not a dare, and that I didn’t have to finish my plate cuz it wouldn’t help starving kids in Africa anyway.

As I replaced my old habits with better ones, the pounds gradually melted off. My thighs were beginning to look like smaller tree trunks, and my double-chin started to vanish. I became motivated to stick with the program I’d created. I remember the day when I could fit into a size 10. That was a Hallelujah moment, it was. When I began college, everyone was talking about the dreaded “Freshman 15.” But I just kept losing weight at a steady pace. Each year I shed a few more pounds. By the time I graduated college, I could fit in a size 6. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine I would lose that much weight.

Now I just need to learn how to exercise consistently and eat healthier. Garsh!!

Honk If You Love Jesus

So about a year ago I broke down and put one of those Lifechurch.tv decals on my purty lil Chevy Malibu. I'd hesitated putting the sticker up because I sometimes (not often, but once in a blue moon) do something stupid while driving. Having the decal adds pressure to be a better driver cuz I'm representing the church in a way. On my drive home from work, I had one of those Deep Thoughts moments. Enjoy.

Any time I let someone go ahead of me, they rarely see the sticker. But every stinkin' time I cut someone off in traffic (whether intentional or not), they see it. I mean every time! Illuminated by my brake lights as if to say, "You just got cut off by Lifechurch.tv. Have a blessed day!"
Sometimes doing good works is the same way. You can do something nice, and it never gets noticed. But the minute you do something rude, dumb, or otherwise, it sticks around for a long, looonnngg time. And then your family retells the story at holiday dinners. Uhh, yeah.

So do we stop doing the right thing because it goes unnoticed? Because we're underappreciated? Because someone else will do it? Because it's not-that-big-of-a-deal? No, as Christians we're called to be faithful in the small things. The person we let ahead of us in traffic may not see it, but the car behind me sees. Whether we like it or not, sometimes people are watching. And occasionally our acts are hidden from the rest of the world. But they are not hidden from God. He knows our hearts, our motives, our thoughts. When we begin to truly live for an audience of One, everything changes.

The Battle

My flesh (my human/sin nature) is in battle with the Holy Spirit. I know what I should be doing, but I don’t want to do it. I don’t feel like loving. I don’t feel like forgiving. I don’t feel like being patient. I don’t feel like dealing with certain situations.

The Holy Spirit (your conscience, whatever you wanna call it) is telling me something different. It tells me to love when I don’t want to. It tells to forgive when I don’t want to. It tells me to be patient and wait on God, even when I don’t want to.

Loving people is like doing laundry. If I waited til I felt like doing it, it would probably never get done. Sometimes we have to love even when we don’t feel like it. We have to forgive, even if the other person doesn’t deserve it. We have to reflect Christ when we’d rather reflect the rest of the world.

Deut. 30:19 says, “I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live.” Everyday we have choices to make. Do we want to be like Christ or like the world? What makes Christians any different from pagans if we allow our feelings and emotions to dictate how we act? (Luke 6:27-36)

satan must be grinning whenever we start freaking out, getting depressed, or ready to let someone have it. He probably thinks he’s won this battle. But he will be sorry he ever messed with me. I can’t take away the scars that have been left on my heart, but I refuse to let him invade my heart.

Ephesians 6:11 says to put on the full armor of God. Not some of it. Not just this piece or that one. All of it. When the devil attacks, I’m going to pray harder. I’m going to give freely. I’m going to worship with intensity. I’m going to love deeply. I want to be so interconnected with God that it would burn the devil to even touch me. I’m putting on my armor. What about you?