Broken

9-14-06

I'm so broken now
Sorrow overwhelms my soul
When I close my eyes, I choke back tears
Before I lose control
I am desperately seeking
Shelter from this storm
All this pain I'm feeling
I can't bear alone

Chorus
If you would hold me forever
If you would love me for all time
Maybe I could get through this day
One breath, one breath at a time

When the world steps out
And I have nothing left within
I fall to my knees and pray that you
Would renew my strength again
I am desperately seeking
Shelter from this storm
All this pain I'm feeling
I need you to come

Chorus

And if I would get past my selfishness
If I would lay down my pride
Maybe I would find that your grace
Is enough, it's enough for my life.

Cash Flow is Backed Up

Last weekend my plumbing went out. This week my heater died. So I'm looking over my budget for this month, trying to decide what I could cut out. Not to mention Christmas is quickly approaching...ugh!

Anyway, back to the problem at hand. Here's what my thinking process looked like:
~I could go without cable, but my sanity might take a dive.
~I don't really need to eat everyday...
~I could volunteer at LC and live off pizza for part of the week.
~Well, there's always my tithe. What??? (Flick the little satan sitting on my shoulder!)
~If the other bathroom was working, I could get a roommate...

~Internet...come on now, you're being ridiculous.

~Sell the car? Nah!
~How much can I get for one of my organs?

I still have no idea what I'm going to do. If money was or is tight, what would you do?

Extreme Surfing

What was this guy thinking???

"No."

It's a hard word to say. I've said it more times in the past month than I have in...wow, I don't remember saying no that much. I've been reading the book Boundaries. It confirmed what I already knew...I'm a people-pleaser. I hate letting others down. Saying no makes me feel selfish because the Bible tells us to "die to self," right?

One verse that the book mentions has really spoken to me though. Jesus says, "I desire mercy, not sacrifice..." To me, it means to serve others because you are passionate, not because you have to, not because others will think less of you if you don't, not because you need to feed your own ego. We serve out of the gratefulness and abundance that God has provided.

This relevation has truly impacted my life. I'm no longer tied down to good things, so that I can be free to grab the great things that God has set before me. Saying no is becoming easier every time I do it. No more excuses or apologies, just a simple no will do.